The weight of responsibility ............

There it is again, that planner, the calendar, the bills staring at me, and the messages that need a response.  Every morning, creeping down the steps in high hopes, of getting that first sip of coffee before one of the little boys comes barreling downstairs to break the silence.  I am quickly reminded of my life responsibility.  A journey my husband and I are on, called life.  There is no book or organizational plan that can solve this puzzle.  There is no magical solution that can come in and make it calm and predictable, leaving me with a dose of "ME" time to lavish and loath.  Life is a race that requires discipline, dedication, hard work, and the passion to not quit.

All around this worldly place we are told if you work this hard, dedicate this amount of time, choose this direction, you deserve success, happiness, self approval, recognition for your achievements. But what about the times when life is hard and you have no control. You have no answers.  There are times when the responsibility seems too great.   You wonder how you are going to make it through one day. God wants you to move, but you want to stay. Relationships seem to fall apart. Illness and disease creep up on the ones you love. God shows you suffering and you are broken in half with a desire to help make a change.  Those around you don't truly understand your heart's burden.  The sense of hope fading slowly.  That sense of responsibility we all feel to some extent can be crushing to the spirit.

And in his still quiet voice he reminds me of his presence through the minute by minute steps.  I am consumed with a love and a joy beyond my understanding, that takes me to a place where no matter what "Jehovah Jireh" (my provider) is in control of it ALL!

Isaiah 26: 3
You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.

James 1:2-5
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trails of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverence.  Perseverence must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

And for a minute I am reminded to stop "everything" and count my blessings in the right here and now!