Happy 11th Birthday to my adopted daughter! Time heals wounds.......................

I will never have a birth story to share with you.  Our time together started at the young age of 18 months and has been a roller coaster of highs and lows.  A birth did not bring you into my arms.  The foster care system brought you to me, then I directly placed you into my bathtub, and into my arms you came from a bath full of brown muddy water and cigarette burns.  That day I held you and something was birthed out of that moment.  The smile in this picture was one that you only felt comfortable sharing with me if I was right next to you in the room.  You wore a perfume that scented the room with abandonment and rejection.  Your head hit the walls and floor of my home so many times in frustration.  The screams of insecurity went through me like a knife.  You were looking for your way out.  We learned later on that these behaviors would be diagnosed as Reactive Attachment Disorder. I had my hands full, and you  have carried the spirit of fear throughout your time here. In those early years public places and male presence could make you break in half in an instant and many times, I would find myself abandoning my shopping cart to carry you out of the store. When I was encouraged to give up and end our story, God's voice prompted me to keep loving you and we have remained committed to our journey. I have learned to pray harder.  You still call me mom. I still call you daughter.  Time has proven to me , that it does heal wounds.

You have taught me to be patient. You have taught me that my desires and plans are not always the way things will turn out. I thought other people could teach and educate you better.  At times my patience was not what it should of been and I would want you to conquer your demons quickly so we could move on with life.  I have learned how to chose my battles.  We have learned a healthy balance of boundaries and limits. I have learned that beauty comes from the flower that you keep watering.  I am seeing by holding you closer instead of pushing you away, you are HEALING.  We have spent more time between the walls of this house then we have being big social butterflies.  I am your teacher and you are learning and growing in understanding.  You are knocking down walls and building bridges.

The past two years as we have stepped into homeschooling you, I have been blown away by your growth in confidence. I have learned how you best learn. Your fears are growing smaller and I see you laughing more.  I see you being so caring and confident around your peers and adults.  I am hearing you express your dreams and future desires in a very healthy way.  The past two months you have started to come to me daily and initiate hugs.  I am seeing God's goodness in time.  I am seeing his promises, of never leaving us, nor forsaking us, come to pass. We still have a road to walk, but I look up and through God's hands of security I feel like we are going to complete this race successfully.  I have hope and confidence that God is making beauty from ashes.  I want to speak life into your soul and encourage you to keep letting your light shine!

I want people to know some of our past together only to encourage and inspire them to know that the past will not define the future if the right kind of time is given to heal the wounds.  Love conquers fear.

Happy 11th Birthday Megan!

Love
MOM

Happy 13th Birthday to my "BIOLOGICAL" daughter.............................

 At the age of 10 I was diagnosed as a type 1 diabetic.  At age 16 I was told the chances of ever having children was very slim to none.  I have always loved being around kids and working with them.  Growing up in the unknowns of motherhood was hard.  At the age of 23 after marriage, we took the risk of pregnancy and thirteen years ago today, I was blessed with a beautiful 9lb 10oz baby girl.  The doctors labeled my pregnancy and birth as "unsuccessful".  It was hard to hear those words spoken so clearly in my ear, but God had better plans.  In thirteen years my daughter Julia has blessed my life in more ways then words can be spoken.  She is my "biological" daughter who has since the age of two-and-a -half,  learned to love and receive six other adopted siblings into our home. We our a team.  We love all our children.

Dear Julia,

Today you turn thirteen and I can't believe how fast you are growing up into a beautiful woman!  The teenage years are looking right at us.  I know it isn't always easy being part of a big adoptive family. People ask crazy questions. More times then not, we are out of our comfort zone in this crazy world. As an adult I have struggled to find security in how God has built our family, and now as I am raising teenagers it is even harder.  I want us to grow and thrive through our security in Jesus Christ. I don't want this world to suck away our joy as a family.

 Everything is shared at times and our time together can be less then what I desire.  I know you are learning about this world and how cruel it can be.  I also know you show me daily your love for the Lord and you are not afraid to stand up for what is right.  Your desire to love on the fatherless shines through and I am confident that someday I will be on a plane with you, helping you complete your adoption journey in another country. 

  Being the "biological daughter" is not easy.  At times people are very insensitive and ignorant in what they say.  At times you get singled at as being "more loved" because you are my biological daughter.  And at times people look past you and want to show compassion to your adopted siblings instead, because of story or situation.  I have held your hand when you cry in confusion over our blended family and I also have celebrated in the times when you were not afraid to speak out and share your thoughts at your wise age of soon-to-be thirteen.  Your heart is big and I know God gave you to me for this life and journey we are on.  I know you feel equality within the walls of our home. Your siblings love you genuinely.  You show them love genuinely.   

 Countless times we have been asked in public situations"So which ones are BIOLOGICAL?"  and I am proud to hear my "biological" daughter say :

"It doesn't matter which one of us is "BIOLOGICAL" we are a family and that is what counts!"

Happy 13th Birthday Julia!

Love,
MOM

By your example, is the best way to live.

This picture hangs in our dining room as a memory of our "adoption day" back in 2012.  As of late last week we learned of the passing of Judge William Wiest.  This man played a very important role in several of our children's lives.  Our family was blessed to get to know Judge Wiest not only as our judge but also as a neighbor- friend.

As a foster parent you find yourself spending much time going to and from the courthouse for many reasons.  Some events more hope filled then others. As Judge Wiest began to take on a role in Child and Youth cases I had several opportunities to be in his presence and we were able to get to know each other.  His heart for youth and children in Northumberland County along with he and his wife's shared love for adoption made it easy to talk and share a genuine comradery.  His smile and words of encouragement were a deep blessing to myself and the children.  He would talk about his wife, his children, and his beloved grandchildren then pull the conversation to our family and genuinely ask how we were doing EVERYTIME. I always appreciated his keen sense and awareness of what capacity stroller I had managed to maneuver into the courthouse, through security, and to the courtroom.  Any foster mom has "that" collection of strollers in her garage. He was fond of my blue three passenger stroller and its ability to haul all three of the little boys at the same time.  He had a big heart for sure.  He never filled my ears with his list of accomplishments,  he asked about our family.  He led by his example. The words from his mouth that I will carry into the future are so simple but helpful, "YOU ARE DOING GOOD."  I believe by example HE HAS DONE GOOD.

 The list of how much time and energy he poured out to others, by example, is one I will never fully know because our time in meeting was not for a long duration.  In the small window of time that we did get to know each other I saw a person who along with his wife had known joy and pain personally, yet still kept their heads up and continued to pour out into others in every area of life.  We are blessed to have spent our adoption day with him and I will sure miss passing him alongside the road on my walks.  His wave and smile will be missed.  The challenge for the rest of us, in this life is to stand up ,and start living by this example of pouring into those around us who need to be loved.

Our family is sharing with our community in  thoughts and prayers for the family of Judge William Weist.