Happy 11th Birthday to my adopted daughter! Time heals wounds.......................

I will never have a birth story to share with you.  Our time together started at the young age of 18 months and has been a roller coaster of highs and lows.  A birth did not bring you into my arms.  The foster care system brought you to me, then I directly placed you into my bathtub, and into my arms you came from a bath full of brown muddy water and cigarette burns.  That day I held you and something was birthed out of that moment.  The smile in this picture was one that you only felt comfortable sharing with me if I was right next to you in the room.  You wore a perfume that scented the room with abandonment and rejection.  Your head hit the walls and floor of my home so many times in frustration.  The screams of insecurity went through me like a knife.  You were looking for your way out.  We learned later on that these behaviors would be diagnosed as Reactive Attachment Disorder. I had my hands full, and you  have carried the spirit of fear throughout your time here. In those early years public places and male presence could make you break in half in an instant and many times, I would find myself abandoning my shopping cart to carry you out of the store. When I was encouraged to give up and end our story, God's voice prompted me to keep loving you and we have remained committed to our journey. I have learned to pray harder.  You still call me mom. I still call you daughter.  Time has proven to me , that it does heal wounds.

You have taught me to be patient. You have taught me that my desires and plans are not always the way things will turn out. I thought other people could teach and educate you better.  At times my patience was not what it should of been and I would want you to conquer your demons quickly so we could move on with life.  I have learned how to chose my battles.  We have learned a healthy balance of boundaries and limits. I have learned that beauty comes from the flower that you keep watering.  I am seeing by holding you closer instead of pushing you away, you are HEALING.  We have spent more time between the walls of this house then we have being big social butterflies.  I am your teacher and you are learning and growing in understanding.  You are knocking down walls and building bridges.

The past two years as we have stepped into homeschooling you, I have been blown away by your growth in confidence. I have learned how you best learn. Your fears are growing smaller and I see you laughing more.  I see you being so caring and confident around your peers and adults.  I am hearing you express your dreams and future desires in a very healthy way.  The past two months you have started to come to me daily and initiate hugs.  I am seeing God's goodness in time.  I am seeing his promises, of never leaving us, nor forsaking us, come to pass. We still have a road to walk, but I look up and through God's hands of security I feel like we are going to complete this race successfully.  I have hope and confidence that God is making beauty from ashes.  I want to speak life into your soul and encourage you to keep letting your light shine!

I want people to know some of our past together only to encourage and inspire them to know that the past will not define the future if the right kind of time is given to heal the wounds.  Love conquers fear.

Happy 11th Birthday Megan!

Love
MOM